To F*** or not to F***

Right then I intended to post a nice, long update today but since it's now 2.44am I shall have to make it a brief one. Why? Because I was fulfilling the rather unreasonable and completely pointless whims and fancies of the brainless brown bastards (or the 3B's if you like) working at our oh so highly revered Ministry of Education, and was therefore too busy completing my part of our Moral Portfolio, due next Tuesday.

Now all A-Level Science students will know that our exams do not end until next Friday and if you're one of them you will be wondering why we have to complete this stupid thing at such an inconvenient time. I shall now proceed fulfill your curiosity: Apart from the reason given above, we have a Sammy Vellu look-alike who's hell bent on making our lives as miserable as he can because his royal darkness demands that we hand in our projects by the aforementioned date. Now, really, I think this is a bit much because how can you expect us to willingly sacrifice whatever precious study time we have left on something as insignificant and completely unimportant as this, time that should be instead spent memorizing the number of ways you can create mysterious glowing purple concoctions in the Chemistry lab. Of course we tried asking him to change the due dates to after our exams, but no amount of begging, pleading or c***sucking would get him to change his mind. All AL-109 students are aware that more than half our seniors are retaking their Advanced Subsidiary exams together with us, and this made us wonder: does Cambridge really like making all its candidates fail? We guessed it was a yes. And then we pissed our pants.

I initially assumed that the reason so many people were resitting this exam in our college was due to the difficulty of the papers themselves, but I think I have found a more relevant reason: the timing of our Moral Education sessions. Really. Think about it. I've been told that all other A-Level students had to put up with this atrocity as well, so there's no reason why we shouldn't be able to cope. And this, I figure, is the REAL reason why so many candidates are repeating this particular exam. But of course they won't tell us that now would they? So if you're a member of KDU's administrative staff, or in fact anyone with the power to do something about this, listen up: if you want to earn superior bragging rights over other colleges as far as the number of A's your students are raking in is concerned, please, please, PLEASE for the love of fried potatoes shift the timing of all future moral sessions. Really. I guarantee the A rates will soar beyond your wildest dreams.

Oh shit it's 3.15. That was supposed to be a brief post. I shall now go to bed and hopefully the wildest of wet dreams will come to me.