Toilet wonders

I have been doing something that may or may not be considered as unintentional research about the most effective ways of studying for muggers like me. I hereby proudly state that one of the best times to study would be while you’re taking a crap in the loo. Hilarious but indeed true, and there is a logic to this. You see the holy toilet is probably the only place in your house that has no distractions at all. So while one half of your cerebral cortex is directing those anal muscles to get all that poop out of your butt hole, the other half will have no where else to wonder but the text/reference/exercise book you have in hand. Another point worth noting is that you should set yourself a target, i.e. a minimum amount of pages to be covered before you allow yourself to leave. Of course this method comes with a certain amount of anal discomfort, but I assure you that it is worth it.

If you are claustrophobic or just aren’t a fan of lavatories, another method that works on the same principle would be to study while you’re eating. Be forewarned, however, because the enjoyment you derive from your eating experience will be significantly reduced, but again, it is worth it, every single bit of it.

So, fellow compatriots, if you ever have problems concentrating I highly recommend these two methods, and they both come with a warranty of effectiveness. ‘How could I possibly fulfil such a warranty?’ I hear you asking. Well fret not because if in the unlikely event you are unsatisfied by the results I will take your place and poop in your toilet or eat your food for you, depending on which method you have chosen.